Why Good Things Happen to Good People

By S. Post & J. Neimark in Happiness on October 11th, 2007


I have one simple message to offer and it’s this: giving is the most potent force on the planet. Giving is the one kind of love you can count on, because you can always choose it: it’s always within your power to give. Giving will protect you your whole life long.

These scientists are discovering the deep, remarkable impact of benevolent behavior on mental and physical health. Personally, I am now convinced that giving is the answer to the malaise that corrodes many lives today, a malaise born of too much “bowling alone,” as the sociologist Robert Putnam describes our fragmented lives.

You wish to be happy? Loved? Safe? Secure? You want to turn to others in tough times and count on them? You want the warmth of true connection? You’d like to walk into the world each day knowing that this is a place of benevolence and hope? Then I have one answer: give. Give daily, in small ways, and you will be happier. Give and you will be healthier. Give, and you will even live longer.

Generous behavior shines a protective light over the entire life span. The startling findings from our many studies demonstrate that if you engage in helping activities as a teen, you will still be reaping health benefits sixty or seventy years later. And no matter when you adopt a giving lifestyle, your well-being will improve, even late in life. Generous behavior is closely associated with reduced risk of illness and mortality and lower rates of depression. Even more remarkable, giving is linked to traits that undergird a successful life, such as social competence, empathy, and positive emotion. By learning to give, you become more effective at living itself.

As psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger wrote, “Love cures - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.”

Giving is a great equalizer. Whatever your background–privileged or impoverished, blessed or difficult - the starting place for a life of greater love is within your reach. I think of the life of Susie Valdez, nicknamed the “Queen of the Dumps.” Valdez was born in the slums of Mexico, dropped out of school in the tenth grade, and had four babies in quick succession. Packing just a few possessions, she moved with her children to El Paso, Texas, and spent the next forty years caring for dirt-poor Mexicans. Valdez founded a mission, raised funds for two medical centers, mobilized prominent politicians, subsidized schools, and fed as many as three thousand poor people a day. Many who have met her marvel at her charismatic radiance in the face of so much suffering.

Copyright © 2007 Stephen Post, Ph.D., and Jill Neimark. From the book Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post, Ph.D. and Jill Neimark, published by Broadway Books, a division of Random House, Inc. Reprinted with permission.